Almost, But Not Quite

I'm almost ready. Or, I suppose, as ready as one can be in this situation. I've been getting less and less sleep each night this week, my stomach tightening with anticipation as Sat. looms ever closer. You see, for one thing, I'm having a hell of a time trying to pack the "essentials" and pack "lightly as possible" and yet still feel comfortable with having enough stuff to last me through a year. Also, I have a ton of clothes already which makes it hard to sort through and figure out which ones to bring. See my overflowing closet and all the clothes I'm leaving behind? Ok, I know it doesn't look that bad but you can't see behind the other door where's there's even more clothes. Also I had to put some in my sis' empty closet too. Actually, I kinda wish I had brought more clothes with me here b/c it's so hot that I'm changing clothes a lot which means more laundry.


I have limited myself to a backpack and laptop case for my carry-ons, and a medium-sized suitcase and a really tiny one as my 2 pieces of luggage (see below)*. And in between trying to fit a towel (Korea, for some strange reason, is lacking in the big, human-sized towel department and most of the towels there are tiny) and a pillow (Koreans like to sleep on hard bean pillows which I already know from having slept on one when I was little that I cannot and will not sleep on those things) I can barely fit in the toiletries, shoes (shoes are evilly bulky), and clothes that I need. It doesn't help that I'm planning on bringing my big, bulky winter coat or a year's supply of deodorant (it's hard to find in Korea and pricey).
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I'm also haunted by the fact that I know I'm forgetting to bring something, probably very important but I just can't figure out what it is. And I know I'm not going to figure it out until I'm safely in Korea. Dammit.

Finally, there's this little fear of heights I have. And fear of flying on airplanes. In fact, the flight to Korea will be the longest and 3rd flight I've ever been on in my life. And I'm terrified but trying not to think about it. I'm hoping I'll be knocked out for most of the plane ride actually. I'm a total worrywort and keep imagining the worst, like losing my luggage, missing my flight, getting lost, among other, more terrible things. I've also never been abroad before (a weekend in Canada hardly counts) and my Korean language skills, to say the least, are subpar. What if I don't make any friends? What if my homestay family are lunatics? What if my students hate me? Oy vey.

There are about a million other little things (it's always the little things, isn't it?) that are also driving me crazy right now but I won't bore you with minute details (anymore at least). As much as I'm dreading Sat., I'm also looking forward to just leaving already and being on my way.

Anyway, I'll leave you with excerpts of a farewell note given to me by a friend, a very, very special note:

Dear YJ,

I'll miss you....I'll miss your openness...I'll miss you every way known to man. Live, YJ. I want you to be free.

With love and nudity,

[name redacted]

And actually, I left out the worst parts. I have very, very special friends.

*yeah i have a unicorn poster in my room. wanna make something of it?