Weekend Crappiness

This weekend kinda sucked. I mean not completely. Emily came to visit me in my town. It was kinda hectic though because she came in pretty late, around 9 at night. Then I hadn't asked my host family about having her sleep over and when I finally asked last minute, they were apparently having a bunch of family over. Which I had no idea about till that day. But it worked out, Emily came over and the family was super nice.

Saturday we went into Seoul. We and a bunch of other ETAs had signed up to proctor the CFA test on Sunday. For the proctoring we had to attend a training session on Saturday. Then we hung out with people afterwards. I tried to go shopping but found nothing. SIGH. At least I save money that way.

Anyway, Sunday was absolutely awful. We had to get to the test center by 7 AM and I hardly got any sleep Saturday because the walls in our motel were thin and I could hear people talking loudly all night. I also had the job of reading all the announcements and instructions at the beginning and end of each test session (3 hours in the morning and 3 in the afternoon). I would proctor in between. Proctoring was absolutely horrid. We couldn't do anything but literally stand and watch the people take the tests. No reading, no sitting, no nothing. Since there were about 3 proctors in each room we'd take turns taking breaks. As time went on, we each kept taking longer and longer breaks. After the first 5 minutes of standing there watching people, you start to wonder why the hell you signed up for this. After doing that all day, I'm not sure it was really worth the $300.

To occupy myself I tried to make mental to-do and to-buy lists. I also tried to practice Korean and solving math problems but I suck at doing math in my head. I also tried my friend's suggestion of giving the test-takers names and background stories. But all my stories were boring. There was only 1 woman in the entire room and the rest were men so it was hard to make any complicated love stories. Actually 10 people didn't show up for my room. Which is insane. You have to pay about $1000 to even take the test, which you have to pay beforehand. Even if I hadn't studied and I knew I would fail anyway, I would still take the damn test. For one, you already paid so much money just to take it. Also, it could help you study for the next time you take the test.

And this test is pretty important. It can put you on a different level from your peers, kind of like getting a certification or something. As my friend put it, you pass this test you "make bank."

And on Sunday, my wisdom teeth started hurting. They're coming in now and it hurts like hell. LIKE HELL.

I also realized that I can't deal with large groups of people anymore. I dunno if it's because I'm older or becoming more anti-social but I just can't stand it anymore. A small group of people is fine but when it starts to balloon I just get really overwhelmed. And annoyed. I think mostly because it takes forever to get anything done in a big group. Also it's like there are too many people to deal with. Which sounds terrible and it's not like I don't want to see and talk to these people but I just find it hard to do small talk with people.

So that was my weekend. So looking forward to just chilling next weekend.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Let me count the ways:

1) I've been sick in one way or another for the past 3 weeks.

2) I thought I had off today (like everyone else) but no, I have to come in to supervise 2 classes for NO REASON at all.

3) I barely got any sleep last night and felt terrible and sick (nauseous, chills) this morning.

4) Had to go to all the way to Seoul for my doctor's appointment (I figured it'd be better if I actually understood what my doctor was saying).

5) Turns out I have an ear infection. That I probably got from my nasty cold. Yay! Also, the doctor couldn't have been more of a douche. He was apparantly befuddled by my messed-up ears but not giving me a diagnosis or anything. No, I had to ask what was wrong with me. I don't often go to the doctor, but that just seems so basic to me.

5) I was manhandled twice on the bus today. The buses are effin' crazy here, weaving in and out of lanes and making sharp corners and generally making everyone go everywhere. And for some godforsaken reason, people like to grab onto ME when they're losing they're balance. Do I look like a strapping, muscular person who will steady you? NO. What will happen is only inevitable--you grabbing onto me will only make BOTH of us fall.

So the first time this happened, the lady literally dug her nails into me as she's holding on to ME for dear life. If you know anything about me, you know that I strongly abhor other people, especially strangers, touching me. Male or female. And those nails friggin' hurt. Second time I was manhandled was by yet another lady who practically was hugging me for support. And made me start to lose my balance. I nearly fell. I even made groaning noises when she was using me as her personal support pole, but she didn't give a f*ck. I swear, next time someone tries to grab onto me, I'm gonna yell. Seriosly. I am not here for you to grab onto. There have been plenty of times where I too have been about to lose my balance on the bus, but somehow I have never had to hold onto someone. I always manage to regain it myself. It's not hard people.

6) Some ahjusshi (middle-aged man) trying to f*ck with my mind on the train. So the trains in Korea are pretty sweet. Nice cushioned seats, plenty of leg room, even a cafe on board the tran if you're hungry, plus a bathroom in between every traincar. You also get assigned seats when you buy a ticket. So I'm sitting there in my assigned seat and I was pretty happy because I got the window seat which I always prefer. There was this bag of groceries in front of me which I figured someone ahd left behind so I was like whatevs. Then this ahjusshi comes and asks me if I'm in the right seat. And I'm like "huh?" Because I was pretty sure I was in the right seat, but he seemed so insistent so I double-checked.

Meanwhile I had even apologized to him because I thought he was right--sometimes I mess up the seats so it was possible. But then I check my ticket again and everything, and I am in the right seat. So then I'm all confused. I even showed the ahjusshi my ticket and he kept examining it like I'm lying or something. By this point things are getting a little shady. Like clearly the ahjusshi wants that window seat. Because he's even somehow managed to switch seats with me at that point and was definitely not going to move. And even though I kept telling him that it was MY seat, he kept trying to say it wasn't.

Then he decided to switch tactics and instead was all like "But I have this bag of stuff." And then I sighed and gave up. Like goddamn, ahjusshi, if it's so goddamn important to you to have the window seat--to the point where you're willing to try and lie and play mental games with me about it--then just friggin' take it. Jesus. Maybe it sounds like I'm overreacting, but really his attitude was completely condescending, like "oh you stupid little girl who can't read her train ticket right" mixed in with "well, i'm OLDER so that means you MUST give up your seat for me." Did he thank me? Hell no. I seriously hate people like that. You know, if he had just asked me nicely from the beginning for the seat, I probably would've given it to him. Because at the end of the day it's just a friggin seat on the train. But no, he had to lie and try to confuse me like I'm stupid or something. I'm not stupid ahjusshi, I'm just not petty like you are.

7) My teeth hurt. I think my wisdom teeth are coming in.

Sigh.

Frustrations

My last class of the day--40 students--sat and blinked at me the whole class. And I know they understood me. I explained the activity about 1 million times in about 1 million different ways and yet they still just sat there in dead silence. Makes me want to throw something (not at them of course), just to see if they'll react. Then they complained when I went over time--we went over, dear class, because none of you could be bothered to give me one response to any of my many questions.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I just a horrible teacher?

I am starting to suspect I'm not a good teacher. At all.